In this post I’m going to discuss a frequent and common problem that happens to many of us once we start to wake up to the truth of the reality that we live in.
I call it “Selling Syndrome”, or “Come With Me! Disorder”.
It usually happens this way.
“Person A” reads a book, or blog, or watches a film that profoundly effects them to the point of making real changes in their life. In the midst of making those changes Person A reaches out to their friends, family, and pretty much anyone that will listen, a.k.a. “Everyone ELSE/The Public”, and begins to tell them about this GREAT NEW WAY of seeing and experiencing the world and how THEY SHOULD JOIN THEM ON THIS INCREDIBLE JOURNEY.
Person A tells Everyone how great it is, and how much better the world would be for Everyone IF THEY WOULD JUST DO WHAT THEY DID!
The Public, being very accustomed to being told what is best for them, look at Person A and their eyes glaze over. They listen politely until person A is done “Selling” them on whatever epiphany they had, then they go about their way. Sometimes, Person A will encounter someone that actually listens and then a few different things usually happen.
They tell Person A, “I knew that already.”
OR, they disagree with Person A which causes even more turmoil for Person A than The Public not listening.
OR, they label Person A with whatever convenient term they think applies to him/her. Common labels are: “conspiracy theorist”, “new ager”, “kook”, “Jesus freak”, etc.
The reason this is happens is two-fold.
Person A is excited, energized, and enthusiastic about their discovery AND SINCERELY BELIEVES THAT THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER, if Everyone would just _______.
Another reason SS/CWMD occurs is due to our cultures predominant exercise of looking outward for validation and verification of an internal truth. We have been told that our external world is a reflection of our worth, therefore, it’s only common to WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO RECOGNIZE OUR GROWTH.
How else can we be sure that’s real?
It’s kinda like going to the gym or exercising regularly. At first, no one notices the changes taking place. YOU KNOW CHANGES ARE TAKING PLACE because you are sore, tired, etc… Yet, no one can see it.
After a few weeks of consistent exercise, people that know you may notice a difference, but, for the most part, the world doesn’t respond any different to you.
After a few months, the people closest to you cannot help but remark on how you have changed AND NOW THE REST OF THE WORLD SEES YOU AS A FIT AND LEAN PERSON. The rest of the world had no idea what you were like before you started working out, they just think that YOU’RE IN REALLY GOOD SHAPE, and probably always have been.
Internal, spiritual, and cognitive shifts are perceived in a similar manner.
When we find something we really like, it’s only natural to want to share it. The problem though is that UNTIL WE INTEGRATE THE CHANGE INTO OUR LIFE COMPLETELY, no can believe us.
We look like out of shape people telling Everyone how great working out and going to the gym is.
Treating SS/CWMD is quite simple.
Read that again. Note that I did not write EASY.
There is a difference.
Treating the disorder requires an understanding that while the event, truth, realization that you had is valid, true, and poignant for you, IT MIGHT NOT BE FOR EVERYONE ELSE… RIGHT NOW.
A friend recently put it this way,
“…we are all taking different routes, to the same place.”
It’s totally normal to be excited and and enthusiastic. Real growth actually REQUIRES that type of energy behind it. We don’t need to convince Everyone else though. They are already on their journey.
If they look at you and notice a change and ASK you what you’ve been doing. By all means, share, inform, inspire! There’s nothing wrong in trying to educate and inform. People make entire careers out of it.
The difference is found in the gap that exists between TALKING about something, and actually DOING it.
I like to say that leading a horse to water is a kind and generous, life sustaining act… anything beyond that though is just talking to the wrong end of the horse.
We all want to change the world for the better. That is a great thing.
The change will come from DO’ing and BE’ing the change. It can feel isolated and lonely at first, and that is because we a literally between two worlds. Once we fully enter the new world we’ve carved out by living our truth, we find “like minds”, and often “family” that we never knew we had.
Yes we need to talk and get the word out, that is important.
If we change ourselves though, with consistent practice, sincerity, enthusiasm, and excitement, we won’t have to sell anything though. People will be lined up asking how they can get some of whatever it is that we have.
At that point, it’s not even selling. It’s simply offering.
And which do you prefer? To be sold something or to be offered something?